As a new high school graduate, along the way, most students have created a 'stigma' about college and how it is going to be- and most the of the time, that image is shattered after the first semester. In high school, we were taught to make sure you know what you want do when it is time to finally decide on a college to attend. Good thing for me, as I was approaching this important life decision, I was dead set on what I wanted to do- and no one could change my mind. Achieving perfection was not top of my priority list (although everyone knows the kids who were just naturally perfect at  EVERYTHING) but being pushed to test well on the ACT/SAT (or you won't get into a 'good college') while being involved in varsity softball, student organizations and studying to stay on honor roll takes a lot for a high school kid. 

I was accepted in Aultman school of Nursing upon graduation and I finally felt that all of my hard work really paid off. I thought my whole like I wanted to be a nurse, and I had many reasons why I loved that profession. There was also many reason why I knew this profession was actually NOT FOR ME AT ALL. I learned a lot about myself while going through this phase of my life that I know now that I didn't know then.

It is THE best to look back and feel that the decision I made was the best decision of my life. After completing almost 2 years into a BSN degree and working a job as an STNA (state tested nurses aide), I seriously had to re-evaluate if I could really see myself enjoying this for the rest of my life. I was finding much dissatisfaction and unhappiness and I knew in my gut that I had to make a change. I used a summer between semesters to do some research and decide what I really wanted to do with my life. I needed some time to think and I came to a conclusion that I needed a 'MAJOR' life change.

'MAJOR' as in my major in college- and that was like a huge no-no to my family. After I was able to become collected, I was able to explain to everyone how this change was going to be the most beneficial for my future and that I wanted to find a career that I enjoyed doing every single day. 

I found that my excitement for Marketing was what I wanted to pursue at the University of Mount Union. The college transfer was easy for me because Mount is in the same town I grew up in. The content of material and ideas is what I fell in love with. I am so happy that I decided to make this total life change, which was SUPER risky at the time. I had to trust myself and know that this was going to be a job that I can be still be a great mom to my future children and wife to my husband. I will be graduating in May 2020 with a Bachelor's degree in Marketing and minoring in Biology. I couldn't be more proud of myself than accomplishing what I have so far in my life, and the many opportunities I have received. 

Looking back at my time in college so far, I have learned many skills that will surely prepare me for the workplace. Among the array of skills I've learned, some at the price for what seemed like studying until the sun came up, some of them didn't come with 'college'. I chose the most important things I learned that WERE NOT in the textbooks the professors insisted we buy. 

1. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
Life is a journey, not a destination.Not everything can be done perfectly and sometimes you don't get the 'A' on the paper you thought you deserved. Some times I have gone above and beyond and the reward was greatly satisfying. Whatever the situation, you can't always win, and accepting this was one of the hardest things for me to do because I try to get the most out of everything. Sometimes you learn to keep going even with adversity and challenges. 

2. I never thought I would do some of the things I have done.
I know what you're thinking. Get your head out of the gutter. I NEVER thought I would have to stay up until the sun was coming back up to start a new day. I have had some late nights, but nothing says all nighter like the sun rising again. Sleep is KEY in being productive in class and MANY of nights have been spent watching the sunrise.
Another thing I never thought I would have to do is wake up from that sacred sleep to start coffee. Functioning without coffee the days are pretty slim to none, but having coffee first is a good day. 

3. Take advantages of resources. Don't be afraid to ask for help. 
I found myself working as a student working on campus at the Information Technology Help Desk. This opened up my horizons to many things on campus that I would have never known without working here. Not only have I gained a lot more knowledge about IT related things, I have met SO many people on campus that have been a great networking source. 

4. Your major may not define your future. Listen to your gut. 
Upon high school graduation, I decided that I wanted my future to be in nursing- boy did I guess wrong on that one. Making a life-changing decision as big as switching your college major from one spectrum to another is extremely stressful but it has paid off immensely because I am so much happier in the Marketing field. Bless the people who are able to give love and care to those who are sick, but it was not the future I saw for myself and my family. I had to listen to my gut feeling.  

5. Loyalty is a two way street. You find out who your friends are.
I found out that it is less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. I have met so many people on my journey, many friendships have lasted a semester long (while we sat next to each other during a class) and many have just failed because of reasons. One thing I do know is that my friendships that have actually lasted this long are friends I will cherish for the rest of my life. These friends have been with me through the ups and downs of life. Loyalty in friendship is a two way street because as we grow older, we become busier and engrossed into other activities and friend groups ect. BUT one thing that never happens with loyalty is no matter the distance, we still are in touch regularly and continue to flourish a lifelong friendship. If people aren't willing to put forth the same time and effort, you find out who your friends are. 

​6. You still have a life. Kinda. Hakuna Matata.
I have also learned that I need to make time for balancing my personal life outside of the college chaos. Finding balance between work, school, and personal life can definitely be tricky but school is most definitely my number one priority. Making sure that school work is done first before having fun is a must for me (or I get anxiety to get home to finish it). I found that I love taking my dogs for a walk because it gets all of us out of the house and takes my mind off what I had been working on. In college, you can still KINDA have a life as long as you set your priorities to work these into scheduling. 

7. Always take your makeup off at night, it is not worth the breakout. 
Did you know your face ages 14 days for every night you go to bed without washing? The oil in your T-zone area increases the rate of bacteria growth, which can result in overnight formation of infection- or commonly known as breakouts. I have way to many reasons I love Mary Kay, but one reason is the fact that I have gained so much knowledge about skincare and makeup application, its unreal. So thanks for taking care of my skin forever, Mary Kay. 

8. College is definitely an investment in myself and my future.
Enjoy the experience. Cause it's expensive. But surely money can't buy everything, either. That is why college has taught me that although it may be the most expensive experience I will ever endure, I am investing into my future career path because I want to be able to rely on myself if I need to, and I want to be able to provide for my family to have the life that my parents provided for me. I found myself enjoying the experience of college more when realized the investment I am making in myself.

"WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT, YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!!" -Typical Mom 

9. Don't forget to have a planner.
Time management is real and this is the part in 'adulting' that I found most helpful in staying on track and organized. I have repeated heard and taught that being organized and prompt with deadlines and such is actually like really important to people in the real world. I literally live by my daily planner because.. well because college. Confession: I even color code for my classes when things are due, appointments, and special dates. 

10. Treat yo' self girl, you deserve it.
After all of this being said, I know how hard I have worked to get to the point in my life where I am now- including the tears & frustration, late nights & early mornings, and all the watered down coffee you can think of, I always try to make time to treat myself for my hard work. I enjoy to reward myself with positive reinforcements like getting my monthly massage or getting my nails filled. Treat yo'self girl, you deserve so much. 

I feel like nowadays, everyone has a side gig.. extra money is always a plus. Mary Kay is mine. And they call me 'Queen Bee'. This picture above is one of the proudest moments of my life because of the perseverance and dedication I gave to get where I wanted to be; I became a sales director with Mary Kay. I couldn't be happier to say 'I did it' to the people who doubted me and thought it would be a scam. Unfortunately, to those who doubted, it is NOT a scam and I DID IT! 

Mary Kay is much more than another direct selling company. They empower women to discover their beauty inside and out, to discover their strengths and opportunities, no matter who she is or where she came from. Mary Kay serves a very large, diverse crowd of women who want to improve their lives while changing the lives of other women around them. Shopping from my 'store' at home and receiving 50% off all of my personal products anytime is definitely the most convenient thing ever, but I am also thankful to be a part of Mary Kay because it has lead me down the path I am currently traveling. I discovered my love for marketing, sales, and business. 

I began my Mary Kay career when I was young and 18. That being said, most people thought I joined another one of those companies to annoy people to buy makeup. (And NO! It's not Avon ma'am). Kinda like let's make her feel good, help her out and order the cheapest things from the catalog. One thing I learned in Mary Kay is that building relationships is way more important than trying to make a quick sale that probably won't ever return. I would like to say I shut them up right away but that wasn't the case. It took me a few months to really become obsessed and fixated on what I wanted, but once I created my vision for what I wanted, I blew everyone's mindset of: 'oh, she's selling makeup now'. 

I still love what I do and I love to empower other women everyday to do their best. I know that I have made a huge impact on MANY women I have come in contact with on my journey. Another one of my favorite things about being a part of Mary Kay is the relationships I have built with my personal unit. The reason they call me 'Queen Bee' is because Mary Kay (yes, she was a real lady) had a favorite quote: "Aerodynamically, the bumble bee cannot fly, but it does not know this so it keeps flying anyways". Anytime I heard this quote, it stuck with me enough to become one of my personal all-time favorite quotes. This tiny bumble bee became a HUGE obsession for me, so much so that my entire kitchen is decorated in a 'yellow bee theme'. They call me Queen Bee because I will continue to pursue even though its easy to just give up when others can be so negative. Being the sales director of my unit and developing a much love for bumble bees, it was a nickname given to me that was absolutely fitting and I can never thank my MK girls enough for the life they have prepared me for by pushing me to be my best. 

People always gawk at me when I say, “he’s actually my step-son” but nothing can prepare you for life as a new stepmom. Back in high school, I fell ‘madly’ in love with the boy on the football team - typical high school fling, as you could imagine (obviously many years before little man was even thought about). I would never have pictured that our friendship would eventually last over 10 years and turn into my forever family. 
 
I am going to share with you my personal story on becoming a stepmom and creating a beautiful blended family, or as I call it – How to: Step mom 101. 
 
Here is the kicker, I AM TRYING TO FINISH COLLEGE! HOW DO I DO THIS ‘MOM’ THING?
 
This is TJ by the way…. Short for Thomas James. He is the roots of our relationship and he definitely keeps me grounded. We met at a winter formal homecoming dance; our friends introduced us to each other that night. We had a fling together for half a year or so, and we had a lot of fun between sporting events and enjoying summer time! Long story short, he broke my heart, I cried and cried and cried… but life moves on.  
 
You are probably wondering where the step-mom thing comes in the story. That comes next.
(TJ had a relationship during the time we were not together, which was over five years, and when two people ‘love’ each other, well you know how the rest of the story goes.)
 
I found out from a friend that TJ had broken up with his ex & mother of his child because of some of her choices. TJ and I met up one night for dinner (against what my gut told me, but I just initially felt bad for him honestly) because he needed to talk to someone.
 
As you can see, I fell for him.. and even harder this time. I could actually see a future for us, and it feels good. Fast forward to now, we have been together for 3 years, bought our first family home, and we hope to be married in the near future upon graduation from the University of Mount Union. 
 
I thought I knew what I wanted in life, but then I met Landon James Mathes! He was born on November 17, 2014 and even though he was not physically born from my body (but from TJ’s previous failed relationship), that day will forever have changed my life. When TJ and I decided that we wanted to be officially dating, I knew that I needed to make a very tough decision that would literally change my entire life. For 18+ more years. And trust me, there it is a lot more involved behind the scenes. So if I meet his kid, like its real…. 
 
…and boy is it real! Look at that smile, I would not want my life any other way. Learning how to ‘stepmom’ has been one of the most rewarding milestones I have ever accomplished. Sure its hard, some days it seems easier to just quit. The next morning when he comes crawling in bed to give us cuddles, it makes it all worth it. 
 
But one of my favorite things about being a stepmom is the real, unconditional love I have experienced while raising this child. I could care less what people think about me because it was my choice to love him and that is a whole different kind of love. It is a love that I have never felt before and it is just amazing to know that someone looks up to me like he does- and to I know that I am great example to him while TJ and I continue to raise a little boy makes me feel more accomplished than ever. He is growing and learning every day and I know that one day, he will understand everything and that is all the matters. I will always love him and take care of him like he is mine, and here is how I stay sane to handle all of this:
 
How to: Step mom 101

1. Make sure TJ & I relationship comes first and stays healthy
2. Accept that blended families come with extra challenges. Like baby momma’s. 
3. Be the calm in the storm
4. Remind little man how much I love him no matter what
5. Unplug, unwind, and take me time